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Coffee Chat #2: Living in the moment

Wednesday, July 29, 2015



I have a couple exciting fashion posts coming up but those are going to require more time to put together. So as of now, I'm going to be doing a really rambling, random Coffee Chat. Enjoy! 

Me and some friends last week at the Nicki Minaj concert (life changing). To quote my queen "Cherish these days, man do they go quick, just yesterday I swear it was '06." Thought it was relevant :) 
A repeated question I get from both friends and family is, "so where do you think you're gonna live when university finishes? Live in the U.K. or come back to the states?" I find this question a little humorous because I then picture the two countries fighting it out for my residency- each one hoping I'll choose them to run away with, following the true longing of whatever my heart desires... I got a bit carried away. Moving on.

Touristy picture in front of the Abbey of St Mary ruins in York during first term.

There are pros and cons to living in both places and I can't honestly say what will happen and where I might end up living after uni. As of now I'm happy splitting my time between my two lovers and enjoying getting to know each one a little bit better ;)

I actually have a friend at university who funnily enough grew up in the same area I'm from! She was saying how she likes the other country more when she's not currently living there. So for example, she's annoying patriotic about the states when she's in the U.K. but is more aware of the issues and cons of living in America when she's psychically there and vice versa. I was thinking about that, and it's actually quite common for people to gloss over the imperfections of a situation when they're not currently living them. 

Example A: High school. I adoringly reflect on my high school experience as if it came straight out of a fictional teen movie. I mentally completely omit parts that I actually hated about high school and only reflect on the fond picture perfect memories. But no, High school was really fucking hard at times. I (forcefully) can make myself relive the "my life is over" drama, the petty gossip and feeling trapped with the same people for four seemingly endless years. 


Thinking I was cool at a fall football game going into my senior year of high school. Note the notorious Vera Bradley pouch in my hand glamorously displaying my drivers license. If you don't know the significance of those patterned pouches then good for you. Also tbt to before I knew how to use a flat iron.   

Don't get me wrong, there are certainly things I miss about high school and overall I would say I had a good experience. But I think what I mainly miss is the consistency and comfortability. Life after high school hits you with a wave of uncertainty and unpredictability. University (especially in the U.K.) doesn't spoon feed you. You're suddenly thrown into the real world with a batch of just as confused baby faced young adults and you're all scrambling to find your place and regain some of that consistency/comfortability you once naively thought you had an abundance of. 

Glossing over imperfections can be dangerously deceiving.. you'll find yourself daydreaming about this perfectly picturesque memory and wishing you could go back to that instead of truly living your life in the moment. Whenever I got homesick or things got dull at school, I would immediately start longing to be home thinking that would solve all my problems. And while home is great, nowhere is perfect. University life isn't always going to be perfect and neither is being home. Why was I wasting so much time and energy worried about where I'd be happier than focusing on making myself happy in the moment? There's this really great article which I'll link right here. I especially like the bit where it says,

"think back to all those irrelevant and idiotic worries you had at 14. You were worrying about boys, clothes and reputations when you should have just been enjoying your youth, getting away with all those childish things you only had a few years left to experience." 

By building up the image of home in my head as this perfect paradise escape I wasn't living in the moment at school. And now that I'm home I can see myself doing the same thing when I would start to endure a lull- It's so counterproductive. Why not just appreciate these two places for what they are, and accept their faults as well as their attributes. Therefore I'm making a promise to myself to live in the moment more. I'm going to enjoy myself and my rapidly reseeding youth by making the most of my time abroad and I'll worry about future things in the future. So my message to all you worry warts out there is to stop. Don't let looking back on your time at university the way you look back on your younger years.. wishing you spent more time enjoying them and doing the best you can rather than stressing about your future self.



Until next time, 
Christy xx 



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